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NepalPersonal StoriesUncategorized

The one where I had my first spiritual awakening in Nepal

by Bianca Caruana May 3, 2017April 11, 2020
written by Bianca Caruana May 3, 2017April 11, 2020
The one where I had my first spiritual awakening in Nepal

I am writing this as if I am a child again, a whole new world of knowledge appearing before my eyes. I never thought I was searching for something coming here to Nepal, nor did I know how much I was lacking in something.

I recall the first few days here, as I immersed myself into a new home, I felt more connected to this universe than I had in a long time. I was baffled by how calm and easy it felt to transition into a polar opposite environment, one chaotic from the outside yet so calm and grounding from the inside.

In my first night in Kathmandu I had deeper connections and conversations with strangers than I had in the previous 6 months I had been in my hometown of Sydney, with people I had known for years. Was there something magical about this place, or was I feeding off the excitement and energy of being on the road again? I would come to know it was, in fact, the former. There is something magical about Nepal.

In the following weeks, I would make connections with various people, connections that I would realise were not coincidence. Each connection, each meeting, each conversation was a lesson. My newly found connection to the universe and to my own soul was slowly peeling away the layers of distractions that had buried me for so long, to no knowledge of my own. Being distracted is normal in my part of the world – or the part of the world that was mine. Now I am not so sure…

As each layer peeled away I felt more confident to read these connections as signs. I started practising yoga, meditating and asking for guidance. For it was the first time in a very long time that I felt truly content. I wasn’t so distracted or so pressured by my own self to be a certain way or do a certain thing. I had this feeling of true content, a rare diamond that many of us search for. Not the “That’ll do” or the “It’s good enough” kind of contentment though. I’m talking the real “I am 100% sure this is where I am supposed to be” kind of contentment.  

Now every day I search for new knowledge in this magical place. Something is happening to me… I feel as though I am having a spiritual awakening.

When I said those words to a friend I immediately followed with “do I sound crazy?”

How sad it is that to feel so connected to the universe is something that we would consider “crazy” in our part of the world.

My teacher was born into a yogi family. He was taught meditation as young as 3. The practice of yoga and meditation teaches us to clear our minds and bring positive energy into our lives. It helps to clear us of anger, and hatred, and all the negative energy that surrounds us every day. In the West we aren’t taught these practices, so from a young age we never truly understand how to deal with negative energy. We have negative energy coming into our lives every day but no true way of removing it. We are taught that material elements help to remove us from negative energy. We are taught that addictive substances help to remove us from negative energy. But we are never taught to look deep within ourselves and to understand that only we can truly remove ourselves from negative energy, by finding positive energy deep within our own hearts and minds. By connecting with others on a deeper level. By opening ourselves to knowledge and wisdom from all sources.

Instead we take in negative messaging through media, spend our days on social media, feeding our egos and making ourselves feel as if we are less (or more) than the next person because we have or haven’t got the latest material possession.

My favourite thing about spirituality is that there is no possession in the soul, there is no ego nor is there desire for material things. There is love, and compassion, and kindness. Imagine if we peel away those layers of desire, and ego, and want? Imagine the kind of world we would live in?

In a way religion tries to teach us these things but it is obvious as a species we have failed at religion. We have failed at materialism and we have failed at egocentrism. What is left now? When our planet is dying and we are on the brink of war perhaps spirituality and looking within ourselves for answers is all that’s left?

A dear Nepalese friend who resonates with me on this journey explained the West as a mirage –

“The Western world looks perfect from the outside but if you look deep into the minds of the people there is suffering and chaos – depression, anxiety, stress and many more. The developing world looks like it is suffering and chaotic, but if you look deep into the minds of the people there is mostly happiness.”

I couldn’t agree more being here in Nepal and seeing people who have happy souls. They don’t feel as though they are lacking, they feel full of life. Their hearts and souls are full of positivity. Sure, they feel natural human emotions such as sadness at times but not nearly as much as we do in the West. I wouldn’t be writing this with such assurance if I hadn’t seen the suffering of loved ones around me. Every day I see their pain and sadness, their struggles with mental health and yearning to find something that will fill their soul. The truth is we are conditioned to believe that the things that are supposed to fill our soul don’t.

I hope that this journey fills me with the spiritual knowledge I need to help others rid themselves of negative energy and fill their souls with positivity. It is not until you see light that you truly know how dark things are. Call this a spiritual awakening, call it a crazy episode, call it fate, call it knowledge – whatever it is I want to share it with you all in the hope that it teaches you something about your own life, and perhaps gives you a little more perspective on this beautiful life.

To be continued….

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1 comment

Awakening & Healing in Koh Phangan Thailand - The Altruistic Traveller January 2, 2019 - 5:09 pm

[…] week was a second awakening for me. I wrote about my first awakening in Nepal nearly two years ago. And then the slight set back I had upon my return to Sydney. I loved both those times – […]

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About Bianca

About Bianca

The Altruistic Traveller

I am a freelance journalist, blogger & podcast host specialising in stories that ignite thoughts surrounding compassion, ethics and the happiness of all beings. I travel the world as a digital nomad with the aim to promote ethical values and give a voice to those who are making the world a better place.

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